How These Different Mindsets Can Drastically Change Your Life.

If you hate your life, change your life.

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By Dima Pechurin on Unsplash

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and discovered a post by Shajedul Karim, which stated:

“You are the microwave oven. The cable is your mindset. Everything depends on that cable. Keep it positive, always”

Changing your mindset is more than changing your habits and your way of thinking. It’s a way to change your life. And with that knowledge, you can make a difference in your very own life.

Many people tell me that they feel bad for not achieving big things like the Elon Musks of this world, and I can’t really blame them for thinking that’s how success looks.

It’s the general image of success shaped by our society, a society that’s all about work, money, success, and many more factors based on usually mindset and a bit of luck.

Now let’s take a look at a couple of different mindsets.

There’s Nothing Wrong With Failure.

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By the blowup on Unsplash

I remember my parents telling me to get good grades to succeed in this society and yes, to get a boring 9–5 job you need to finish your school and there’s nothing wrong with that! Not at all.

But let’s say you want something else.

When I graduated from high school, I moved out with my girlfriend and studied for a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science, which was way too much for me, combined with the daily traveling time. The pressure was high as well, and I couldn’t cope with it.

I quit after half a year. I felt like I failed, big time. But in reality, I just took my time to develop myself. I was only 17, what’d you expect?

We’re humans, not robots. Every human can only deal with a certain amount of pressure. When you’re going to exceed that amount, you will eventually burn out.

‘Failing’ also can give you a certain experience that would help in a later stage in your life, where others might be stuck in even longer when they’re older and not able to deal with setbacks.

I’m still ‘failing.’ But does that bother me? No, not really, at least not anymore.

All thoughts are just thoughts.

Negative thoughts often feel more “true,” but they are not automatically. They probably feel more tangible because you are used to thinking negative thoughts.

The point is, thoughts are just thoughts. Positive thoughts are no different from negative thoughts. They are just clouds in the sky, sensations in your brain. You can take them very seriously and go into them endlessly, but you can also look at them more lightly and observe them calmly.

You see the thoughts come and go. And it is up to you to decide which thoughts to respond to. If you want to develop a positive mindset, my suggestion is that you let the dark thunderclouds float by and focus your attention on the happier white clouds.

Most of the things we think are complete nonsense. Negative thoughts such as “I will never make this happen” do not help you forward and are not based on truth. You only know if something will work if you try and do it.

Until then, it is just guesswork. So in such a case, it is much more desirable to foster a thought such as “I’m going to succeed.” Just as untrue as the other thought, but this is one that inspires you to do your best.

Thoughts are just thoughts. You decide which thoughts you pay attention to.

Don’t talk negatively.

Gossiping, slowing down, putting people down, putting yourself down, pointing out someone’s mistakes — it doesn’t help you develop a positive mindset.

Of course, you can be critical. But cynicism does not help you move towards a positive mindset. If you want to experience more positivity, train yourself always to highlight the positives. And catch yourself if you want to talk negatively about others or yourself.

Gossip can then be a way to connect with people, which doesn’t make it the best or most desirable way. Smoking is a way to relax, and cocaine use is a way to be productive — neither of which makes them desirable or very effective in the long run.

Nobody likes to hear criticism. Nobody likes gossip very much. And afterward, everyone wonders, “Would she talk about me like that if I’m not there?”

Keep it positive as much as possible, especially around other people. Then it becomes so much easier to cultivate that positive mindset.

Pay more attention to the desirable things in life.

As with thoughts, events allow you to choose what to pay attention to. You can get stuck endlessly in “missed opportunities,” mistakes, or sour events.

You can also choose to look for the positive aspects of an event. The truth is, everything in life has multiple sides. Not two, not three, but dozens.

Life is an infinitely complex system, and there are very few things that are just undesirable and nothing more. At least one will open for every door that closes. The trick is to take that perspective.

This will be easier if you have some distance from your thoughts, and it will be easier anyway if you practice.

Assume that you can find something positive in every event and focus your attention on it. That isn’t easy at times — but that doesn’t make the exercise any less rewarding.

The better you get at this, the sunnier the world around you starts to get. You see less reason to be negative because there are always aspects to be found to feel grateful for.

Originally Published on bryandijkhuizen.com

Pursuing my Bachelor in Computer Science. Dutch parliament ambitions. https://bryandijkhuizen.com/ — Signup for my newsletter! https://bit.ly/3scKwKw

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